Category Archives: Tuesday’s Top 10

Tuesday’s Top 10 – Reasons most equestrians are single

  WARNING: Only read if you have a sense of humour Check in every Tuesday for our Top 10 list that could feature just about anyone or anything related to Eventing. No rider, owner, coach, or nation is off limits. Remember: “Life is a tragedy for those who feel and a comedy for those who think.”   Tuesday’s Top 10 – Reasons most equestrians are single 10. Manure is not a sexy fragrance. 9. Your whip and spurs scare potential lovers off. 8. You once suggested to your boyfriend that you could help him lose weight by lunging him. 7. Clucking in the bedroom is considered rude. 6. Your last partner gave…

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Tuesday’s Top 10 – Things your horse thinks about during lengthy trailer rides

  WARNING: Only read if you have a sense of humour Check in every Tuesday for our Top 10 list that could feature just about anyone or anything related to Eventing. No rider, owner, coach, or nation is off limits. Remember: “Life is a tragedy for those who feel and a comedy for those who think.”   10. Bitch, my hay net is already empty. 9. Maybe I can paw my way out of this boring box. 8. I wouldn’t have guessed that it’s possible, but your driving is even worse than your riding… 7. Why is there no freaking A/C in here? This…

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Tuesday’s Top 10 – Shocking things your horses think about

  WARNING: Only read if you have a sense of humour Check in for our Top 10 list that could feature just about anyone or anything related to Eventing. No rider, owner, coach, or nation is off limits. Remember: “Life is a tragedy for those who feel and a comedy for those who think.”   10. When you pull my mane and tail, I fantasize about scalping you. 9. Sometimes I fake a limp because I have a crush on the vet. 8. I really do not give a rat’s ass when I pull down a rail; why does it bother you so…

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Tuesday’s Top 10 – New Year’s resolutions your horse is aiming for

  WARNING: Only read if you have a sense of humour Check in for our Top 10 list that could feature just about anyone or anything related to Eventing. No rider, owner, coach, or nation is off limits. Remember: “Life is a tragedy for those who feel and a comedy for those who think.”   10. I’ll gallop full throttle on cross-country so we never have time faults again. 9. I vow to become a better jumper. I’m going to practice all day hopping out of my paddock. 8. You seem kind of nervous about ditches so I won’t jump them anymore. 7….

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Tuesday’s Top 10 – Animals we would be better off riding than horses

  WARNING: Only read if you have a sense of humour Check in every Tuesday for our Top 10 list that could feature just about anyone or anything related to Eventing. No rider, owner, coach, or nation is off limits.   Tuesday’s Top 10 – Animals we would be better off riding than horses 10. Elephants – Much smarter than your average horse. 9. Ostriches – Have you ever seen an ostrich buck someone off? 8. Pigs – If you get sick of your pig mount, there will always be bacon. 7. Dolphins – Who wouldn’t want to ride a dolphin? 6. Giraffes…

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Tuesday’s Top 10 – Stupidest Christmas gifts for eventers

  WARNING: Only read if you have a sense of humour Check in every Tuesday for our Top 10 list that could feature just about anyone or anything related to Eventing. No rider, owner, coach, or nation is off limits. Remember: “Life is a tragedy for those who feel and a comedy for those who think.”   10. Pajamas – “What would I need these for when my horse needs a new blanket?” 9. Keith Urban concert tickets – “These are not for Rolex…” 8. Longines watch – “This is useless; the face is too small for me to read on cross-country.” 7. Godiva chocolates – “Yuck! My horse prefers candy…

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Tuesday’s Top 10 – Reasons to date an equestrian

  WARNING: Only read if you have a sense of humour Check in every Tuesday for our Top 10 list that could feature just about anyone or anything related to Eventing. No rider, owner, coach, or nation is off limits.   Tuesday’s Top 10 – Reasons to date an equestrian 10. Equestrians are easy to buy gifts for – A new horse is always a safe choice. 9. You will never have to worry about your date arguing about politics – She is too busy voicing her opinion about the latest FEI rule changes. 8. You don’t have to ever worry about ‘protecting’…

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Tuesday’s Top 10 – Things equestrians have to be thankful for

  WARNING: Only read if you have a sense of humour Check in every Tuesday for our Top 10 list that could feature just about anyone or anything related to Eventing. No rider, owner, coach, or nation is off limits.   Tuesday’s Top 10 – Things equestrians have to be thankful for 10. Your horse just did a tendon, which is cheaper to treat than colic surgery. 9. That collarbone you broke this year, didn’t require any surgery. 8. You have a vast collection of dogs that you have adopted at a variety of horse shows. No one in the horse world thinks…

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Tuesday’s Top 10 – Things that make equestrians say “F***”

  WARNING: Only read if you have a sense of humour Check in every Tuesday for our Top 10 list that could feature just about anyone or anything related to Eventing. No rider, owner, coach, or nation is off limits.   Tuesday’s Top 10 – Things that make equestrians say “F***” 10. When you go to top up your horse’s water and there’s crap in it. 9. Showing up at a far away horse show only to realize you forgot your tall boots. 8. Spilling Regu-Mate all over yourself. 7. Hearing the judge’s bell ring in the middle of your dressage test. 6….

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Tuesday’s Top 10 – Clinics to take during the off-season to make you a better Eventer

  WARNING: Only read if you have a sense of humour Check in every Tuesday for our Top 10 list that could feature just about anyone or anything related to Eventing. No rider, owner, coach, or nation is off limits.   Tuesday’s Top 10 – Clinics to take during the off-season to make you a better Eventer 10. How to marry a millionaire 9. Oliver Townend teaches – How to win a CCI4* on a 9-year-old 8. Mark Todd teaches – How to rock Eventing as a senior citizen 7. Pat Parelli teaches – How to slow your horse down without drawing blood 6. Ways to get…

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