Category Archives: Tuesday’s Top 10

Tuesday’s Top 10 – Thoughts your horse has while getting clipped

  WARNING: Only read if you have a sense of humour Check in every Tuesday for our Top 10 list that could feature just about anyone or anything related to Eventing. No rider, owner, coach, or nation is off limits. Remember: “Life is a tragedy for those who feel and a comedy for those who think.”   10. Why do I have to get shaved when you won’t even shave your own legs? 9. You missed a spot you dumb bitch. 8. If you clip a stupid cloverleaf or heart on my ass again this year, you’ll be sorry. 7. I wish you weren’t…

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Tuesday’s Top 10 – Reasons your non-horsey lover has to go

  WARNING: Only read if you have a sense of humour Check in every Tuesday for our Top 10 list that could feature just about anyone or anything related to Eventing. No rider, owner, coach, or nation is off limits. Remember: “Life is a tragedy for those who feel and a comedy for those who think.”   10. The ice you bought for your horse’s legs, he put in his beer cooler. 9. She suggested you skip gallop day to go pumpkin picking. 8. You specifically said you wanted a 5-point breastplate for Christmas and he gave you a standing martingale. 7. She said…

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Tuesday’s Top 10 – Reasons you should be thrilled that horses don’t act like dogs

  WARNING: Only read if you have a sense of humour Check in every Tuesday for our Top 10 list that could feature just about anyone or anything related to Eventing. No rider, owner, coach, or nation is off limits. Remember: “Life is a tragedy for those who feel and a comedy for those who think.”   10. Your horse would yelp every time it hit a rail in show jumping 9. Trying to handle a stallion that kept attempting to hump your leg would be terrifying. 8. Your paddocks would be filled with fresh dug holes and likely dozens of carrots buried…

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Tuesday’s Top 10 – Working student realities

  WARNING: Only read if you have a sense of humour Check in every Tuesday for our Top 10 list that could feature just about anyone or anything related to Eventing. No rider, owner, coach, or nation is off limits. Remember: “Life is a tragedy for those who feel and a comedy for those who think.”   10. You are living proof that a human can survive off of ramen noodles and beer only diet. 9. No motel room is too scuzzy for you. They are actually an upgrade from that shed you have been calling home. 8. You have puked in a…

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Tuesday’s Top 10 – Signs that you’re a die hard Eventing addict

  WARNING: Only read if you have a sense of humour Check in every Tuesday for our Top 10 list that could feature just about anyone or anything related to Eventing. No rider, owner, coach, or nation is off limits. Remember: “Life is a tragedy for those who feel and a comedy for those who think.”   10. First thing you do in the morning is visit www.eventingconnect.today to check out Today’s SCOOP. 9. When you are sitting in your car and traffic slows down, you start to cluck. 8. Getting up in the middle of the night to watch events online across the pond is…

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Tuesday’s Top 10 – Reasons selling horses is the GREATEST profession

  WARNING: Only read if you have a sense of humour Check in every Tuesday for our Top 10 list that could feature just about anyone or anything related to Eventing. No rider, owner, coach, or nation is off limits. Remember: “Life is a tragedy for those who feel and a comedy for those who think.”   10. When horses go lame, you can obviously get a huge amount of insurance money. 9. Buyers never try your horse 19 times and then tell you that it is out of their budget. 8. It is a risk-free profession with no chance of breaking…

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Tuesday’s Top 10 – Delusions most riders suffer from

  WARNING: Only read if you have a sense of humour Check in every Tuesday for our Top 10 list that could feature just about anyone or anything related to Eventing. No rider, owner, coach, or nation is off limits. Remember: “Life is a tragedy for those who feel and a comedy for those who think.”   10. If I keep breeding my old mare, I will eventually produce an Olympic winner. 9. I will be a working student until one day, my boss’s owners will realize my talent and give me all the rides. 8. Okay I fell off; odds are I won’t fall…

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Tuesday’s Top 10 – Reasons to fire your coach’s butt

  WARNING: Only read if you have a sense of humour Check in every Tuesday for our Top 10 list that could feature just about anyone or anything related to Eventing. No rider, owner, coach, or nation is off limits. Remember: “Life is a tragedy for those who feel and a comedy for those who think.”   The following reasons are fictional and do not depict any actual person or event. 10. She starts telling you about her marriage problems when you are tacking up your horse. 9. He farts in the barn more than your horse. 8. She asks you to babysit her…

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Tuesday’s Top 10 – Classic excuses for losing an event

  WARNING: Only read if you have a sense of humour Check in every Tuesday for our Top 10 list that could feature just about anyone or anything related to Eventing. No rider, owner, coach, or nation is off limits. Remember: “Life is a tragedy for those who feel and a comedy for those who think.”   10. I would have won if my horse didn’t pull five rails. 9. My groom forgot my lucky whip. 8. If I could ride my dressage test in draw reins he would have been perfect. 7. ‘If Michael Jung didn’t show up,’ – Maxime Livio 6….

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Tuesday’s Top 10 – Evil things horses do and why

  WARNING: Only read if you have a sense of humour Check in every Tuesday for our Top 10 list that could feature just about anyone or anything related to Eventing. No rider, owner, coach, or nation is off limits. Remember: “Life is a tragedy for those who feel and a comedy for those who think.”   10. Shit in their water buckets. – “That’s for not giving me more grain.” 9. Rolling immediately after you bathe them. – “I hate the smell of that shampoo you use on me.” 8. Rip their brand new blankets off during turnout. – “I told you…

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