WARNING: Uncensored language. But all in fun.   Horses as a species are a paradox in the extreme. For those of us who love the world’s most improbable mammal – and insist on attaching ourselves to it mentally, physically and worse, emotionally – it is simultaneously the greatest waste of time and money imaginable, and yet also our very favourite thing to do. As berserk as the horses are, though, the people who frequent the industry are doubly questionable. I doubt there is any other sporting activity that brings out quite so many different types and kinds of humanity….

  The horses were fed and out went the lights, But there was something unusual about this very night. The horses felt nervous-some started to weave- For they had heard round the yard it was All Hallows’ Eve. They slipped out of their stables and joined up in a huddle, Talk of phantoms and demons had them all in a muddle! The lead horse stepped forward and started to speak- But he was interrupted by a blood-curdling shriek. The horses shot forward and rushed into the field, Looked for their leader, but over he’d keeled! For right there in the…

  Spring has sprung! May is here, and we are full steam ahead for the 2019 season. Land Rover Kentucky (still referred to as ‘Rolex’ by absolutely everyone) has been and gone, and now so has Badminton. It’s an exciting yet strange time-this is the first year that the new FEI guidelines have been brought in to play. As always, the FEI seek to make the simplest of things as confusing as humanly possible. Upgrading the starring system has done two things-firstly, everyone in the sport is still talking in ‘old money’, which means we all have to keep asking…

  I am a die hard Tommy Tiernan fan (Irish comedian) and in one of his early sketches, Tommy talks about his father-who sometimes likes to ‘try to remember something that he has never remembered before’. And thus it was that last week, this bizarre and somewhat questionable mental exercise was called into practice by yours truly. Sometimes, the things we go through in life are so crazy, or dangerous, or just so downright unfathomable, that our subconscious mind files that bag of psychotic nonsense away into the box marked ‘D’-for ‘DON’T OPEN THIS FUCKING BOX, EVER A-FUCKING-GAIN. FORGETTTTTTT THIS…

  Ireland is a nation of young horse producers, and in order to showcase our top products, we have a series of young horse classes that provide us with an education system and a shop window. The Showjumping system is pretty good-by and large, once a horse is comfortable jumping around a track, the variables he will experience in his competitive life are not that extreme. The young event horses however, obviously have a lot more to cope with-especially if they are produced through the age classes. Whilst these contests are big business in Ireland-and vital if you are to…

  WARNING: Uncensored language. But all in fun.   Life is a funny old thing, especially with horses. One minute you’re up, and the next you are really very down indeed. Accident, illness, injury and plain old fashioned rotten bad luck are never far away when you are working hard to achieve any objective. 2018 was-in hindsight-a defining year for me in many ways. There were many wonderful people and horses tangled up in the casserole of madness that is my life, but there were some stark lessons in the mix too. It all started well enough. The downhill slalom…

  WARNING: Uncensored language. But all in fun.   SEEING A STRIDE. Never has another phrase struck fear into the hearts of equestrians quite like that one. We look on at the professionals making distances look easy, and we wonder HOW?? Our own experiences are often a weird combination of sheer blind luck, and one long rendition of ‘Jesus Take The Wheel’. It seems impossible to bridge the gap from needing a white stick and a guide dog, to being a polished Olympic prospect-but it can be done! I’m here to debunk some of the myths……. The subject of distances…

  WARNING: Uncensored language. But all in fun.   Horses as a species are a paradox in the extreme. For those of us who love the world’s most improbable mammal – and insist on attaching ourselves to it mentally, physically and worse, emotionally – it is simultaneously the greatest waste of time and money imaginable, and yet also our very favourite thing to do. As berserk as the horses are, though, the people who frequent the industry are doubly questionable. I doubt there is any other sporting activity that brings out quite so many different types and kinds of humanity….