Horses confront real Halloween horrors – An equestrian’s poem

Happy Halloween!

BitOfBritain

 

Horses confront real Halloween horrors – An equestrian’s poem

The horses were fed and out went the lights,
But there was something unusual about this very night.
The horses felt nervous-some started to weave-
For they had heard round the yard it was All Hallows’ Eve.

They slipped out of their stables and joined up in a huddle,
Talk of phantoms and demons had them all in a muddle!
The lead horse stepped forward and started to speak-
But he was interrupted by a blood-curdling shriek.

The horses shot forward and rushed into the field,
Looked for their leader, but over he’d keeled!
For right there in the paddock, in the old coffin ditch,
Was a spooky and scary and most evil witch!

Beside her was Grim Reaper, plus vampire with fangs,
And a ghost, and a demon – what a horrible gang.
They all stared at each other, these horses and Warlocks-
Horses eyes closed, hiding behind their forelocks.

“I have come for your souls!” The Reaper yelled out,
“Who is first?” He said, “Come forward and shout!”
The witch interrupted – “Erm….Reaper? Look here!
It seems it is us who should be living in fear!”

She held up the yard book, Reaper started to read-
“It says here the grey one has choked on his feed?
And the bay did a tendon at a three-star in France,
Plus his dressage is shit – if he could just learn to dance.”

 


 

The witch lowered her wand and looked rather troubled.
The Reaper continued, as a black cauldron bubbled-
“The chestnut hates corners, and water and rails!
We must abort mission – it seems we have failed!”

“You see,” said the Reaper, “we intended to scare,
But you horses are worse – your owners haven’t a prayer!
With vets bills and lameness, and half of you lame,
Who in their right mind would get into this game?!”

He gathered his specters and vampires and ghouls,
But he turned with a last word for these equine fools-
“Eventing is scary, that much we all know-
But try to stay sound and just give it a go?”

“And a word from the wise,” said the witch with a cackle,
“If you lot were mine, you’d all wear a grackle.
Pick up your legs, commit and be brave,
Or Reaper will come and take you to your graves…”

With that, they departed, this group most gory-
The horses stood frozen – who’d believe this story??
Slowly they made their return to their stables,
And next season they vowed to turn round the tables.

They did dressage and jumping and sailed round for clears,
Their riders kicked on now without any fears.
The horses, they never spoke of that All Hallows’ Eve,
But come turn of midnight, you better believe…

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