Eight striking similarities between horse shopping and online dating

 

Eight striking similarities between horse shopping and online dating

Buying a new horse can be fun and exciting but it can also be a complete nightmare. Online dating is similar; you can meet someone fantastic and have a lovely time or you may end up planning an emergency escape. Searching for that perfect equine or human partner can be a real struggle but it can end up being oh-so-worth-it in the long run. Or maybe not…

Regardless of how one’s shopping/dating experiences end up, there are undeniable similarities:

1) Heights always are exaggerated. Every horse’s height gets rounded up to 16.2hh and every man is about 5’10” tall.

2) You better do your own research. A quick online search can reveal some details about a horse’s competition record that were not-so-accidentally left out of the ad. Likewise, Facebook creeping your dating prospect could reveal that he/she is not even single…

3) Arranging an actual date can be a lengthy and frustrating process. Nowadays it seems like everyone’s schedules are jam-packed and people rarely answer their freakin’ phones. Scheduling a time and place that works for a horse tryout can end up being quite the ordeal. Trying to plan a time and place for a date can be even more of a hassle.

4) Photos look nothing like reality. Horse sale ads and people’s online dating profiles only show miraculously flattering photos. In person, you’ll be sadly disappointed. A horse soaring over the standards after a series of poles have been thrown at it may not be the reality of it’s jumping ability. People don’t always post their most recent photos. His hair may not be as thick as it was in the photo. Just remember to practice your poker face because you might need it…

 

 

5) You shouldn’t be looking for a ‘forever’ partner. Sure you need to have standards, but setting the bar too high will result in you being forever horseless or single. When you are combing through horse ads, you shouldn’t be looking for a ‘horse of a lifetime’ that will win you an Olympic gold medal. Look for a suitable partner that will help further your riding career right now. Keep the same attitude when responding to potential human dates. You are just going on a date, not accepting a marriage proposal.

6) Sometimes they might actually try to kill you. Be careful when trying out horses, it is surprising how many insane ones are on the market. Never ride one during a tryout that you have a bad feeling about, you can walk away before even getting on. And if you have ever watched the news, you should be fully aware that serial killers love making online dating profiles to find their victims.

7) Don’t be a time waster. For whatever reason, it seems like some people make a habit of going around and trying horses that they have zero intentions of buying. If a horse is out of your budget, you don’t like its record, you feel it is too old/young or have some other reason that you’d likely never buy the horse unless the price got slashed, then don’t try it out and waste the sellers time. The same logic applies to dating. If you are pretty sure someone isn’t the one and never will be, then don’t lead them on for the sake of pumping up your own ego and scoring a few free fancy dinners. Move on with class and dignity.

8) There are no unicorns or saints. There are no perfect horses or humans. Sorry, but it’s true. You need to have realistic expectations when horse shopping or dating and figure out which quirks and flaws you can live with. You are not faultless so keep expectations real.

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