Tuesday’s Top 10 – Thoughts horses have on show days

"Why didn't we just stay at home?"

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WARNING: Only read if you have a sense of humour

Check in every Tuesday for our Top 10 list that could feature just about anyone or anything related to Eventing. No rider, owner, coach, or nation is off limits.

Remember: “Life is a tragedy for those who feel and a comedy for those who think.”

 

Tuesday’s Top 10 – Thoughts horses have on show days

10. These ‘braids’ are giving me a fucking headache.

9. I don’t want to be brushed at 5:00 AM, I want to sleep.

8. Your hotel better be as dumpy as these temporary stables you have the audacity to put me in.

7. I’m going to dump you off in the warm-up to sharpen you up for the show ring.

6. Speaking of warm-up, why do I have to work in the same space as a thousand strange horses? You know I hate crowds.

5. Why are you so nervous? It is really freaking me the hell out.

4. Maybe you are the one that needs to be lunged, that show coat is looking pretty tight.

3. Those new white breeches are blinding me, let me sneeze on you so you don’t hurt the judge’s eyes.

2. I might consider performing like the rockstar I am if you promise not to make me stand for half an hour wearing that stupid ribbon while you take ‘selfies’.

1. Sorry, I swear those flowers looked really dangerous and I panicked. But you really should’ve held on tighter…

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