WARNING: Only read if you have a sense of humour

Check in every Tuesday for our Top 10 list that could feature just about anyone or anything related to Eventing. No rider, owner, coach, or nation is off limits.

Remember: “Life is a tragedy for those who feel and a comedy for those who think.”

We are heading into December and Northern horses have been sharing some shocking concerns about surviving winter. After combing through thousands of emails from complaining horses, these ten really stood out…

Tuesday’s Top 10 – Things your horse thinks about winter in the North

10. “Thank god I don’t have nuts. It is so cold it would take until July for them to thaw.” – Cooper, Greenwich, NY.

9. “Why the hell did you clip me?! Have your legs been shaved since October?” – Star, Millington, MI.

8. “If it’s too cold for that damn Jack Russel to stay outside; it’s too cold for me. God, I hate that dog. He sits there all warm, staring at my paddock from that window. Like when was the last time he hauled your fat ass around the yard?” – Gracie, Uxbridge, ON.

7. “Can you swap my shoes for blades so I can skate around my pasture?” – Socks, Waterford, PA.

6. “It’s so damn cold outside, I just farted snowflakes,” – Casper, Auburn, NY.

4. “Florida called. They invited us down until April. Apparently, you just have to bring me, your credit card and maybe your parent’s credit card and we will be warm until spring.” – Rouge, Bromont, QC.

3. “Why do you make me wear that ear bonnet at shows but let my ears freeze off in the winter? I could really use a nice fur-lined one for winter turnout.” – Digby, Saratoga Springs, NY.

2. “I wish I had Facebook so I could let my other equine friends know how miserably cold I am and take photos of how stupid you look in all that mismatched puffy clothing. Your nose is always running too. I hate that, it’s so gross,” – Jack, Pottsville, PA.

1. “Ah falling snow, so tranquil, so beautiful, so serene, SO F***ING COLD,” – Maggie, Powassan, ON.