Category Archives: Tuesday’s Top 10

Tuesday’s Top 10 – Reasons selling horses is the GREATEST profession

  WARNING: Only read if you have a sense of humour Check in every Tuesday for our Top 10 list that could feature just about anyone or anything related to Eventing. No rider, owner, coach, or nation is off limits. Remember: “Life is a tragedy for those who feel and a comedy for those who think.”   10. When horses go lame, you can obviously get a huge amount of insurance money. 9. Buyers never try your horse 19 times and then tell you that it is out of their budget. 8. It is a risk-free profession with no chance of breaking…

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Tuesday’s Top 10 – Delusions most riders suffer from

  WARNING: Only read if you have a sense of humour Check in every Tuesday for our Top 10 list that could feature just about anyone or anything related to Eventing. No rider, owner, coach, or nation is off limits. Remember: “Life is a tragedy for those who feel and a comedy for those who think.”   10. If I keep breeding my old mare, I will eventually produce an Olympic winner. 9. I will be a working student until one day, my boss’s owners will realize my talent and give me all the rides. 8. Okay I fell off; odds are I won’t fall…

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Tuesday’s Top 10 – Reasons to fire your coach’s butt

  WARNING: Only read if you have a sense of humour Check in every Tuesday for our Top 10 list that could feature just about anyone or anything related to Eventing. No rider, owner, coach, or nation is off limits. Remember: “Life is a tragedy for those who feel and a comedy for those who think.”   The following reasons are fictional and do not depict any actual person or event. 10. She starts telling you about her marriage problems when you are tacking up your horse. 9. He farts in the barn more than your horse. 8. She asks you to babysit her…

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Tuesday’s Top 10 – Classic excuses for losing an event

  WARNING: Only read if you have a sense of humour Check in every Tuesday for our Top 10 list that could feature just about anyone or anything related to Eventing. No rider, owner, coach, or nation is off limits. Remember: “Life is a tragedy for those who feel and a comedy for those who think.”   10. I would have won if my horse didn’t pull five rails. 9. My groom forgot my lucky whip. 8. If I could ride my dressage test in draw reins he would have been perfect. 7. ‘If Michael Jung didn’t show up,’ – Maxime Livio 6….

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Tuesday’s Top 10 – Evil things horses do and why

  WARNING: Only read if you have a sense of humour Check in every Tuesday for our Top 10 list that could feature just about anyone or anything related to Eventing. No rider, owner, coach, or nation is off limits. Remember: “Life is a tragedy for those who feel and a comedy for those who think.”   10. Shit in their water buckets. – “That’s for not giving me more grain.” 9. Rolling immediately after you bathe them. – “I hate the smell of that shampoo you use on me.” 8. Rip their brand new blankets off during turnout. – “I told you…

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Tuesday’s Top 10 – Reasons horses are better than husbands

  WARNING: Only read if you have a sense of humour Check in every Tuesday for our Top 10 list that could feature just about anyone or anything related to Eventing. No rider, owner, coach, or nation is off limits. Remember: “Life is a tragedy for those who feel and a comedy for those who think.”   10. Your horse doesn’t grumble when you purchase new tack. 9. Your horse only passes gas in the barn or outside. 8. Your horse will never leave you for your groom. 7. Your horse never comments on your weight. 6. Your horse doesn’t bitch about what you serve…

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Tuesday’s Top 10 – Disgraceful equestrian habits

  WARNING: Only read if you have a sense of humour Check in every Tuesday for our Top 10 list that could feature just about anyone or anything related to Eventing. No rider, owner, coach, or nation is off limits. Remember: “Life is a tragedy for those who feel and a comedy for those who think.”   10. If the Port-A-Potties are far away and you are close to wetting your pants, you just pee in your horse trailer. 9. You drink water out of the hose on a daily basis because bottled water is overpriced. 8.  You buy your horse treats that you can also…

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Tuesday’s Top 10 – Things you DARE NOT shout out while watching dressage

WARNING: Only read if you have a sense of humour Check in every Tuesday for our Top 10 list that could feature just about anyone or anything related to Eventing. No rider, owner, coach, or nation is off limits. Remember: “Life is a tragedy for those who feel and a comedy for those who think.”   Tuesday’s Top 10 – Things you DARE NOT shout out while watching dressage 10. It’s called sitting trot. Not sit and flop. 9. Half-halt, you twit! 8. Your ass is bigger than your horse’s. 7. That horse moves like a sewing machine. 6. Holy smokes this is boring.     5. Your hands look like…

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Tuesday’s Top 10 – Ways having horses trumps having kids

  WARNING: Only read if you have a sense of humour Check in every Tuesday for our Top 10 list that could feature just about anyone or anything related to Eventing. No rider, owner, coach, or nation is off limits. Remember: “Life is a tragedy for those who feel and a comedy for those who think.”   Tuesday’s Top 10 – Ways having horses trumps having kids 10. Mucking a stall is not nearly as repulsive as changing a diaper. 9. Horses never ask dumb questions. 8. If your horse needs disciplining, hitting it a few swats with a whip will not land…

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Tuesday’s Top 10 – Crazy Eventing fan behaviour that cannot be tolerated

  Check in every Tuesday for our Top 10 list that could feature just about anyone or anything related to Eventing. No rider, owner, coach, or nation is off limits. Remember: “Life is a tragedy for those who feel and a comedy for those who think.”   10. Sitting on the benches out in the field… they are cross-country jumps. 9. Telling off a judge. They are not the same as referees. 8. Cheering wildly as rails fall down. 7. Intimidating your team’s competition by intentionally spooking a rival horse. (Well sometimes Canadians do that and then Brazil does it back.) 6. Waving pompoms in the…

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